I have often wondered if this is something I am going to be good at- this whole teaching thing- I can be flighty, and my eagerness can often seem childish, my thoughts often looking like a cluster and not very linear- teacher material? No I don't think so.
But then I take a step back for a moment and I remember all of the reasons why I chose to pursue teaching-
My love for language, for literature, and the endless knowledge to be explored. The endless worlds still unread, still undiscovered.
The way it feels when I know I have made a difference, made a connection with one student. or better yet, all of the students in the classroom.
That slightly bubbly feeling when I realize I have contributed to something bigger, greater than myself- The hope that my students will be, in essence, smarter than me, than all of their teachers.
They say those who can't do, teach. So why then, do we employ such an education system at all? if not for students to be taught, to be guided?
I have come to recognize my limitations, my short-comings shall you say. My weakness is my inexperience. I know I do not know everything- nor will I ever. I accept these things as calmly as I accept my severe klutziness, or as my sister Abi terms it, that I am "spatially challenged."
So- I am klutzy, and sometimes a goof, but I also know I am smart, and there's nothing more exhilarating than the opportunity than comes with nurturing young minds to discover who they are, what they believe, seeing a new viewpoint on the world around us.
While a job in some cases is simply that- a job to be undertaken and completed fitting neatly and tidily into a 9 to 5 slot, A teacher's job is never finished, or "off" at five, or weekends, or summers. It is a way of life that asks each teacher to be better- to do better-
It is the path I choose, and choose to be good at, because I will be.
This is quite lovely, Faith. How does this connect with the realities of being in the field this week? When your flights of fancy meet real students, who may or may not love language like you do?
ReplyDeleteHaving been in the classroom all week I can see that it is of course easier to encourage the participation of those students that already enjoy literature-
ReplyDeleteBut for those students whose interest is harder to spark, it is more difficult- especially when teachers are not able to allow students to choose because of curriculum guidelines-
I think that that is when it is important to encourage students to make text-to-text, text-to-self, and text-to-world connections that allow students to find relevance in their assignments and to make them their own-
I am glad to see that you have battled whether or not you will be a good teacher because I have been having the same struggle. Luckily, that was moreso at the end of last week/beginning of this week, but now that I have made it through the week I am more confident in myself and my abilities. It's okay to make mistakes and it's okay to be unsure sometimes, but I am glad you found it within yourself to accept these qualities and have confidence in yourself! You'll inspire me to do the same!
ReplyDeleteI really love reading your writing, Ms. Principe. Thank you. I especially love this line:
ReplyDelete"That slightly bubbly feeling when I realize I have contributed to something bigger, greater than myself- The hope that my students will be, in essence, smarter than me, than all of their teachers."
Teaching depends on this bubbly feeling.
And on your need to cultivate it over and over again, year after year after year.
So, when you feel tuckered out after a week of teaching, when you suddenly know that you have work to do, when you feel like you need to remind yourself why...
Think about how you will keep the bubbly feeling, how you will keep those bubbles bubbling. (This is the role the RIWP teachers play for me!)